Sometimes I dog-sit for friends.
One particular dog, Griffin, has been a constant for many years. He is a huge chocolate lab, and the scars of his youth and the foibles of his age are evident in his family's wonderful home.
I just wrapped up with days with Griffin and his dog friend Daisy. When I first met him, Griffin was a 100-plus-pound brute - let’s say he made a great guard dog. Hell, his bark alone would put the fear of God in an MMA fighter.
Other than his family, I was the only one Griffin could be around in those days. I had no idea what a profound effect this relationship would have on me and my confused feelings about life and death.
I only see Griffin a few times a year. During the pandemic, it was less than that. Man oh man has seen me through my worst times.
Years ago I recovered from cancer, lost my job, lost another job, and lost the person who I thought was the love of my life. I remember walking with Griffin on summer days, cold springs, and freezing winter evenings in complete despair. Nearly in tears, I would ask him what I was going to do.
His head bowed, he listened in silence. We walked and walked and I talked and talked. Griffin helped me face the inevitable answer to my own question.
What do I do?
You keep walking.
So I did. Things are far from perfect, but I have recovered myself and rediscovered writing. I have written short stories, a novel, started another novel, and a lot of Substacks. Though I thought I was, I have not been in love since the February night I found myself literally out in the cold. Perhaps love will return. Perhaps not.
Griffin cannot walk so far anymore. He gives it all he’s got, but the rabbit chasing, and the sheer muscular power, are gone now.
He is old. I am old. I rubbed his head before I left him this morning. This could be the last time, I thought, and it made me sad and fearful and I know the road always ends.
You keep driving.
Great story. Dogs are great listeners, non-judgmental priests and economical therapists. As the dyslexic declares, "Dog is my co-pilot." https://jimbuie.substack.com/p/the-rising-of-bobby-lazarus-and-the
I am so glad that you and Griffin are still walking.