Jeff, thanks for sharing the opening of your novel. My test is like this: If I popped into the Low 'n Slow for a refresher, and came across Journey holding forth, would I be intrigued enough to forget what I had planned and stay and listen. I love a good yarn, indeed I do. And Journey certainly intrigues me. My hesitation is that his monolog is like a shotgun blast...pellets of thoughts and values peppering the listener. Each pellet being worthy of focus and elaboration. I'm more intrigued by a single shot fleshed out with conext. I suspect you will get to that as the story unfolds. After being stunned by Journey's shotgun blast I might be compelled to move along with my plans, especially if my plan was surfing on Malibu.
Keith, I truly appreciate your comment, especially the shotgun approach you noted. The second half of the chapter goes out this weekend and I'm hoping it starts to come together a bit more. You do have me considering revisions, though.
"Money is kind of like God, isn’t it?"
Jeff, thanks for sharing the opening of your novel. My test is like this: If I popped into the Low 'n Slow for a refresher, and came across Journey holding forth, would I be intrigued enough to forget what I had planned and stay and listen. I love a good yarn, indeed I do. And Journey certainly intrigues me. My hesitation is that his monolog is like a shotgun blast...pellets of thoughts and values peppering the listener. Each pellet being worthy of focus and elaboration. I'm more intrigued by a single shot fleshed out with conext. I suspect you will get to that as the story unfolds. After being stunned by Journey's shotgun blast I might be compelled to move along with my plans, especially if my plan was surfing on Malibu.
~I will stay tuned. I'm still hooked. KT.
Keith, I truly appreciate your comment, especially the shotgun approach you noted. The second half of the chapter goes out this weekend and I'm hoping it starts to come together a bit more. You do have me considering revisions, though.